Ella Felber

What was your favorite book as a child?

There were many. Recently, I saw one of them in a museum: Das kleine Ich-bin-ich, written by Mira Lobe, idea and illustrations by Susi Weigel. The Little I-Am-Me is a wondrous stuffed toy, encountering many different animals in search of its own identity. On the back, there were instructions to make your own crooked and queer and beautiful Ich-bin-ich. I made many I-Am-Mes.

What was the original reason or motivation why you started writing creatively?

A dear friend in college once sent me a small red notebook and a red pen. “A little love and courage from Paris! …for taking notes of every interest…,” she had written on the first page. I was going through what I now know was a depressive episode. I couldn’t say out loud what I felt. So I took the pen... The blocks seemed to drift off in the flow of writing. Journaling allows me to process my experiences, and to enter into an honest dialogue with all parts of myself. At times, my writing became poetic or essayistic, to be shared with others. So did My Hands which I wrote on the last day of a dramaturgy workshop, in a single pour.

What was the most adventurous or thrilling thing you ever did/experienced?

Asking a new friend for help, expressing disappointment and discontent, but also: a first kiss, the first time saying “I love you”... for me, these risky moments of making myself vulnerable are giving me a particular thrill. And they usually set off adventures.

Do you listen to music while reading or writing?

Only when I’m in noisy environments. I turn on noise canceling and/or listen to Ivo Olé Vossen’s Spotify playlist Scientifically Selected STUDY — DEEP CONCENTRATION — Instrumental Work Focus — Binaural Beats. Fullstop. The playlist is even longer than its title. It’s “scientifically optimized to boost your brainwaves to a beta state” (whatever that means). T.b.h., I simply enjoy the blanket of sound.